Et Cetera #3 | Alone time, big girl dreams and my favorite romcom trope
This is Et Cetera - a weekly brain dump of bookish (and non-bookish) things!
Oh, dear friends.
My girl’s school called a “weather day” on Tuesday and I wanted to cry a little. After the insanity that was the first week of January, there has been a lot of togetherness and this momma craves her alone (and quiet) time. When we didn’t get a notice for school called on Wednesday, you can believe I looked like good ol’ Elaine Stritch down here (minus the ice cream, it’s like -4 around these midwest parts!). But the joy, friends. The joy!
Whenever I talk like this I always fear the judgement. I love my girls unconditionally, but sometimes too much togetherness is just too much. Plus, they are at the age where they fight, like all the time, and that, plus dogs barking at the wind, and a husband who has a very time-consuming job, makes for a lot of time spent LOUDLY together. And that noise leads to one over-stimulated and anxious momma.
In therapy a couple years ago I did the work of letting myself own what I need to be happy. And what I need is quiet and to be alone. It doesn’t mean I love my girls less or don’t want to be around them, it just means that for me to feel like me, I need the separation. It took a lot of work, and I mean A LOT of work, to let go of the guilt that went with feeling like that. But now, I am very happy shooing them off to school. Go little birds, go spread your wings and talk someone else’s ear off.
Things My Kids Ask About
I decided it would be fun to drive through KU’s campus on Tuesday and lo and behold, I picked the absolutely worst time to do this. Students were everywhere. It was jam-packed with cars and busses and I was absolutely like, what the heck did we just drive into? But my girls were totally perplexed.
'“Why are there so many people walking around?” They asked. Aren’t they in school?”
Having to explain college versus their school now was a trip. They were confused about why the students didn’t have to go to school for 7 hours straight and why they were walking so fast and what the heck a fraternity house is. (Lord, give me strength.) They wanted to know why there are so many buildings and why some students didn’t have backpacks on and others did. They wanted to know where they eat lunch.
Luckily I got a text from the mom of their friend who wanted a playdate and we got to move on. I like answering their questions, but I prefer it more when we’re not stopped in campus traffic.
Big Girl Dreams
Our girls often ask us to put “good dreams” in their heads before they go to sleep. I used to think it was super fun…I made up different worlds and funny characters. My husband adds in silly things that always make them giggle. But let me tell you, my imagination is starting to get tapped out. But one night this week, I’m putting my oldest daughter, Cece, to bed and she asks me to do dreams.
“Okay,” I said. “How about marmots and monkeys eating marshmallows?”
She answered. “No, that’s what dad put in Penny’s head for dreams. I don’t want those little kid dreams. I want big people dreams.”
Internally, I am bawling my eyes out. I ask if she is sure and she answers that she is.
“How about you are at a Taylor Swift concert, dressed in sparkles with cool eyeshadow and your red lip classic and she calls you up to sing with her?”
Even in the dark I could see her wide grin. She liked that dream. It was old enough for her. I kissed her cheek, smoothed back her hair, said a silent prayer to keep it together mom, and let her fall asleep.
She’s constantly surprising me with these new things she is into. I really like watching her grow.
Book List: Falling For a Sibling’s Best Friend
Okay, how about we talk books for a few? I finished P.S. I Hate You a couple days ago and I really liked it. Angry banter always does it for me and then throw in the female main character falling for a sibling’s best friend and I am just donzo. P.S. I Hate You had both of these things, and steam that was at least three chili peppers! So all in all, a very good read. If you like the sibling’s best friend trope as much as I do, here are some of my favorites.
Summer Romance by Annabel Monaghan
I love Annabel Monaghan’s books! They are always a guaranteed swoon-fest, and Summer Romance will not let you down. When Ali’s dog literally claims Ethan by peeing on him, Ali should be mortified, but instead she’s completely taken by Ethan. He looks at her like she hasn’t been looked at in years and soon, a summer romance begins!
Wild Love by Elsie Silver
Wooooo, Lordy! It is getting all steamy up in here. Rosie is the little sister of Ford’s best friend and totally off limits, right? Hmmmm…maybe. Maybe not? Their angry banter is wild and the steam is even wilder. If you can get past the almost cringe way they speak to each other during the intimate scenes, you’ll be good to go. You’ll swoon over Ford’s decades long love for Rosie and feel empowered by Rosie’s go-getum attitude.
This Summer Will Be Different by Carley Fortune
Lucy doesn’t know Felix is the younger brother of her best friend. All she knows is that he’s handsome and their chemistry is unreal. She heads to Prince Edward Island each summer and always tries to avoid Felix…even though it gets harder too each time. This one is swoony and steamy and their banter is delicious. Everything they do is melt-your-face cute.
Ready or Not by Cara Bastone
Shep has always been Eve’s best friends brother, but now that Eve is unexpectedly knocked-up by a one night stand, Shep has started to step up and help. And Eve is looking at him in a totally different way. Has he always been this cute?
Done and Dusted by Lyla Sage
Okay, cowboy! Luke knows Emmy is off-limits. She’s the sister of his best (and very overprotective) friend. Plus, he spent most of his life antagonizing her. But when they meet again, the chemistry between the two is instantaneous. And super hot. They both know better, but sometimes you just have to take a chance.
Business Casual by B.K. Borison
All Nova wants is a one-night stand and who better to help her with that than Charlie, a longtime friend of her brother’s. But she’s actually attracted to him and determined not to let herself fall. As she tries to fight her feelings, Charlie does his best to prove to Nova that he is worth her time. The swoonage in this one is perfection and it was mega-steamy, so gird your loins, friends! You will inhale this story.
Let’s be friends on Goodreads. I go WAY more in-depth on my reviews there - probably more than I need too, actually, but whatevs. It’s fun.
So On and So Forth: 5 Fun Links For Friday
Are you as confused and intrigued by the show Severance as I am? The clips look so trippy, yet all I want to do is find out what the heck is going on. Book Trib put together a list of nine books all about workplace drama, commentary on capitalism and burnout.
I’ve been seriously craving shrimp and rice! It was a staple in our house growing up and I can’t get my own little family to enjoy it as much as I did as a kid. I pinned this Garlic Shrimp in Coconut Milk recipe from Serving Dumplings and now all I want is to eat this every minute of every day. Yum!
Making Valentines with the girls is my husband’s job and I am slowly trying to take over, ha! Aren’t these the cutest dang Valentine’s you’ve ever seen?
Ooooo, this mustard scarf Home Run Ballerina knitted is absolutely beautiful. Don’t mind me, I’m just on my way to Joann to stock up on yarn!
And finally, if you are feeling as blue as I am about this week’s inauguration, keep your head up. Here is a list of 10 practical things to do to prepare for a Trump presidency from Emily’s Substack. Be gentle with yourself, but know I feel as brokenhearted as the rest of you.
Take time for yourself this weekend (and don’t feel guilty doing it)!
Happy reading, friends!